There’s an old joke that says if you play country songs backwards you get your wife back, your dog back, your truck back etc. I’ve been able to identify some rules and themes in present day country music that are somewhat different:
1. Your wife looks incredible in her jeans.
2. Nature is outstanding and smells good… especially in the evening.
3. The U.S. state in which you were born and raised is VERY important and people don’t need to know very much else about you.
4. Your husband looks good in a tee shirt and his uncomplicated personality is exactly what is best about him. This is true unless he is unresponsive to your needs, in which case he needs to be murdered and his body disposed of quietly.
5. Fried foods taste good and are vital to what makes American quality of life the best in the known world.
6. The moments in your youth when you sat outside somewhere and did absolutely nothing are, by far, the best times you will ever have in your life.
7. There is absolutely no act too small to start a brawl in a bar.
8. A man’s ability to take care of business in a bar brawl validates who he is and is the best indicator of how much life the old boy still has left.
9. A farm is excellent place to have a party and lose all inhibition. The whole county will be there.
10. Women are an incredible force and ‘country’ or ‘southern’ women are a larger force still. The state where the woman was born and raised determines exactly how strong a force she is and exactly which of her charms exerts the greatest power over you. There is much disagreement over which state produces the prettiest and most powerful women and sometimes an altercation can break out . Men usually speak up for the women from their own state. It is also acceptable for a man to believe in the power of women from the state where his ‘Momma’ was born and raised. The Georgia woman seems to be the only one identified with one particular object emblematic of her state: the peach.